Have you ever found yourself wondering, “I sure wish my marriage looked like that one…?” You know which ones I’m talking about. It’s the couples that have the “perfect” marriage; pure bliss, 24/7. You never see them fight and they seem to always be happy, holding hands and gleefully skipping across the sidewalk, IMPOSSIBLE! But the fact remains that we have this cavernous envy deep down inside of us all…
But why do we think that way? What’s bubbling up inside of us that ushers in such a comparison, such a deep seated jealousy? Let me suggest that it might have far more to do with you, than it does with your spouse.
My wife loves me very much, and she’s not shy about telling people what a great husband I am. (Sheepish Grin) Now I certainly don’t say that to toot my own horn, I say it for a very good reason. You see, my wife is the most loyal, caring, loving, honest and character driven person I’ve ever known. And because of those incredible qualities, it makes me want to love her all the more. She is a significant reason for the way I treat her, the way I love her. And ultimately, being a great husband has far more to do with her being a great wife, than it does with me being a great husband all on my own.
My wife allows me to walk deep into her soul. She provides me with a continual stream of “I Love You’s,” and she means it! I feel safe with her. I don’t ever wonder about her faithfulness. And consequently, IT MAKES ME WANT TO BE A BETTER HUSBAND.
If I may, allow me ask you a few gut-check questions…
– Does your spouse sense anger or bitterness in you throughout your day?
– Do they feel a sense of safety and trust or are they walking on eggshells around you?
– Are they the object of your affection or do they feel the brunt of your resentments?
– How do they TRULY experience you?
Those aren’t easy questions to answer, especially if (like me) the answer to those questions don’t always turn out so great. But I do have some really great news! Your marriage will become exactly what you put into it. Your marriage can thrive like “those others” if you really want it to. But the fact remains, you have to become a spouse that gives far more than you take.
Be the person you want your spouse to be… One more time, BE THE PERSON YOU WANT YOUR SPOUSE TO BE. Love them equally as much as you love yourself. I promise you that if you give of yourself sacrificially and love your spouse like they are the last person on the planet, you can encounter a marriage that others will look at and say… “I sure wish I had a marriage like theirs…”